Emily demanded my assistance in the kitchen whilst she cooked a meal for nine. Stella and her husband would be there later. We were still in the habit of whoever picked the children up from school cooked the evening meal. It had become a tradition by then.Actually I'm not too sure that I was of much assistance to Emily in the kitchen. I think I've said before that my cooking skills are not far short of being lethal, but Emily kept finding me menial tasks to perform. A couple of times Kathy and Margo offered their help, but they were politely told by Emily that they were guests and would not be needed.It could be that I noticed a slight atmosphere there that evening. But later I thought I must have been mistaken, because Emily and the girls appeared to get on so well together. Over the next few days Margo and Kathy spent most of their time with Emily. She took more time off of work so that she could take them to their interview with my personnel manger and she took them flat hunting.. I stood there, I was being torn apart with these feelings. I was disgusted with my self for many things. First because I should have never let myself be put in this type of situation. Second because I should have never left Matt. Third because I should be very, very mad. Yet what was I thinking about I thought about the money, and most of all the sick nasty pleasure I got from having this kind of filthy sex with 30 different men.I swear I hated myself I was thinking about every thing that happen to me since I had arrived. Remembering the position I was in, a position with no control over my life. And then the wonderful feeling I received from the sex I had been doing. I was getting turned on from the memories of all those nasty things. I knew I did not take on this job for the reasons that Bud told the men or told me for that matter. All I wanted to do was, give an honest days work, for an honest days pay. But this extra money, and for what, sex? For pleasure like I had never felt in.
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